Mission 1226 – a writer's blog

where I occasionally share about inspiration, songwriting, screenwriting and my faith journey…

shrinking or expanding… part 2

So … I’m circling the wagons on this “word” for 2017 thing… I think I have it.

But getting there? I traversed and bumped and navigated around several options. Sorta like Goldilocks and the three bears. You know — this bed’s too big, this bed’s too little… Same with picking a word! This one’s too vague. This one’s too singular in focus. This one allows my mind to let negative seep in. This one doesn’t drive hard enough toward action. 

Phew. If you’re laughing…….if you think this is easy………? Try it! Pick ONE WORD to define your “intent” for the year. I dare ya. Go ahead. Give it a whirl. 

Yeah…… see?? Not so easy, is it?

I admit, I’ve had some help in this enterprise…. thank God. I love me some nudges!

For starters, my bestie chimed in. I swear, that woman just gets me. On the heels of my last post, she proffered a suggestion and an offer which I will take her up on. In fact, my plan is to settle in the morning of my birthday to do what she suggested, which is — and I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing this, but it’s soooooo great, I have to…… and seriously, like Nora Ephron’s mother told her: “Everything is copy”, so — I will compose a letter to myself and send it to her. And she, at some point in the year as yet unknown to me, will send it back to me. What?!?!?! That’s beyond cool, no?? So … we’re texting about this while I’m on a walk in the woods, and I — in expected fashion, I’m almost certain — texted back the question of “What should this letter be?” 

To which she responded: “She asked herself”

Ahhhhhhhhh, grasshopper…………

Dang, that girl is good!! You wanna talk about mojo? And juju? And awesome sauce?? She’s got that sorta stuff in spades!! Thank God she shares so generously…

These past few weeks I’ve surrounded myself with some more great girls! To wit:

I sought some sort of daily devotional to begin each morning with. Instead of toiling over choosing something new, I went into my sanctuary and pulled out one I’d gotten (and read) years ago, by a woman named Ellen Miller. It’s called: Inspiration for Girlfriends …. juggling Not-So-Perfect, Often-Crazy, but Gloriously Real Lives.

Nice, huh? Yeah, pretty amazing stuff…. Merely re-reading her introduction reiterated why I chose her devotional all those years ago. So anyway, that’s been one of my “practices” thus far in 2017 — mornings with Inspiration from Ellen. 

Another book I’m diving into is one I’ve attempted to dive into a few times before. I’d get stuck very early on, sooooo moved and soooo poked and nudged and rocked by what was on those pages, I’d bog down in wonderment and get no further.

Okay, and here’s the really embarrassing part: we’re talking about the book’s introductory pages. Pages that didn’t even have page numbers but, instead, little roman numerals! You know — the kind to signify you’ve not even reached the heart of the matter yet. You’re still in the shallow end of the pool, barely getting your feet wet. And already, I was clambering for my towel! In a good way, mind you .. but clambering. 

But now, on merely January 9th, I am proud to say I’ve waded all the way to page 35!!

This is some good stuff, let me tell you… Right up my alley. And the book is just FUN to look at — the copy is all over the place in terms of color and type size. It’s nuts! It just begs you to grace its pages with underlining, and notes in the margins. The stimuli on those pages cut to the quick. Oh, and there are “worksheets”. What?!?!!?

So what book is this, you ask? 

007

Thank you, Danielle LaPorte, for rocking my world. For infusing my thinking, igniting my energies, inspiring me to action. For helping me find my word…

Speaking of inspiring me to action…..

…… someone’s professional opinion provided a nudge last week for me to bail on my first “race” of the new year. I say race in quotation marks because I wouldn’t have been racing necessarily, but merely hiking — at a location new to me (yay!) with girlfriends I adore (double yay!). Except I didn’t go. I gave up my spot. I wasn’t alone in so doing, but …. the mere act of bailing sent me into action…. and first thing this morning I left a message on the voicemail of my neurosurgeon’s nurse team. Seeking help.

I need help.

For several weeks now, mornings have sucked. And I am a morning person, so believe you me — this is one monkey-wrench I am not taking too kindly to! But alas, something is effed up in my lower back and whatever is happening and who knows what all is causing it, but overnight — as I try to sleep — my lower back “locks up”. So .. whether at 1 a.m. or 3 a.m. or 5 a.m., and whether attempting to get up to go to the bathroom or get up for the day, it is an absolute shit show watching me try to rise. I can’t roll over nor sit up without crazy, wonky, yelp-inducing pain zapping me in my lower left back. 

It is dumb. No lie. Dumb. Capital D Dumb. It takes up to 15 minutes to get up. Sometimes I just sort of roll off whatever bed or couch I’m on and crawl. Crawl! What?? Dumb. See why I’m saying dumb?? Once my bladder and the cats are squared away, I take to the floor to do about a half hour of stretches and yoga poses to un-kink and loosen things up. Not that I don’t enjoy me some yoga…. But truly: I would rather it be a sun salutation in the woods, versus grunting and groaning my way through child’s poses and pigeons and cobras in order to have a fighting chance at getting up in a bridge. 

Dumb. 

I wanted all this behind me. Like, months ago. That was the plan… Back surgery for me, a new hip for Patrick, we’d take the Fall to rehab and get our bearings and by 2017, we’d be feeling back up to snuff and ready to conquer whatever the new year threw our way. 

Or…… I’d cancel out of a race. And crawl across a floor. And take well over a minute to climb a flight of stairs. 

Yeah, no — this is dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. 

So … I’m seeking help. I’ve lost two years to this injury already, I’ll be damned if I’m losing another! If anyone has seen and/or is well versed in this exact sort of predicament, it’ll be my neurosurgeon, right?? I’ll be damned if I’m going to my regular doctor. We all know there’s no love lost there… As tempting as drugs like painkillers and muscle relaxers sound right now, that is NOT an alley I’m willing to go down and likely the only result of seeing my GP. I still meds left from after my surgery! I didn’t even really like taking them then. So …. not about to do that now. So I say — what else ya got??? 

What else ya got?

Now that is a refrain I can’t wait to hear being asked of me this year….. 

What’s that mean??? Ahhhh……. 

Has to do with my WORD. See how I’m bringing this full circle?? Oh, I haven’t even touched again on the concept of shrinking or expanding….. And I’m over 1,200 words! Shit!! 

Guess I’ll have to return for part three to finish this out. You’re welcome to join me.

Until then, I leave you with this wonderful visual….. Consider the concept of shrinking or expanding…… Consider your intention for 2017……..  And consider this…

small-hand-big-hand

 

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted on January 9, 2017 by .
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