Mission 1226 – a writer's blog

where I occasionally share about inspiration, songwriting, screenwriting and my faith journey…

shrinking or expanding… the finale

Happy dance!!! Right out of the chute this morning…….happy dance!!!

Sometimes ya gotta go to the well, call in reinforcements, cry out for help, be willing to accept help. For those playing along at home, yesterday my neurosurgeon’s nurse called me back after a team consultation over my “issue”, and they decided the first course of action is a 6-day round of steroids. I picked them up yesterday and downed the first six little pills. And this morning?? Okay, truth be told….. at 1 a.m., 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., I rolled over, sat up, scooted off the bed, walked — I didn’t crawl!!! I won’t say “no pain”, but no “debilitating” pain.  What?!?!?! I still launched into my morning stretching routine, but winced far less. 

Now I generally wake up with a smiling heart, a smiling soul, a smiling attitude…..okay, “most of the time” on that last one, but — for the first time in well over a month — today I awoke with a smiling body. 

Happy dance!!!

And that was easy!! I called in reinforcements, I asked for help, I was willing to set aside my loathing of “medicine”, and voila — relief. Of course, I’m trying not to go too gonzo about this because, honestly, I don’t know what it means exactly. So …. there’s inflammation that I haven’t been able to nudge loose on my own?? What happens after these six days?? What’s the underlying other stuff I need to know, concern myself with, and DO to keep myself on a better path???? See — all questions! But, for now, while I’m In This Moment, I’m gonna put a pin in them and just enjoy the ride. 

I’ll share a bit more from yesterday……. I got a call from this dude who’s the manager of a new kickboxing place. Yep — I signed up! Some of you locals may have seen this: three lessons and a pair of gloves for $10. Yeah, I signed up for that. They haven’t announced the Grand Opening date yet, but soon, I’ll sign up for my first class. Now granted…. it is highly unlikely this will be “a thing” for me following the first three, but…..here’s how I see it — if I enjoy it, I can take what I gather and figure out how to put it into my arsenal. 

As I was scribbling thoughts/plans/ideas for 2017, one edict I wrote down was:

TRY SOMETHING NEW

Well, nothing like signing up in January for something new! Oh, and yoga!! I signed up to take the Foundations class this weekend at a nearby hot yoga studio. I’ve been so long away from actual yoga classes and I miss it and it scares me a bit to just launch back in, so I figured such a reintroduction would be a great choice. Wish me luck.

So yesterday afternoon, after working on some script pages, I felt something stirring and I was nudged to go into the next room and pull out my guitar. I can’t explain this…. Stirring, nudges, a desire, some innate need….?? I felt compelled. Now mind you — it doesn’t take long for my fingers to scream but, up to that point, it was a joyous ride! Maybe like catching a wave if you surf, I don’t know. But over the course of not even one hour, I strummed and thrashed and sang my way through the  nonsensical starts of three new songs. 

I mean to tell ya — that was pure JOY. Several times, I stopped and exclaimed OUT LOUD something like “this is so awesome!!!” Like: thank you, glorious Universe for summoning me to the stool. To the frets. To the capo. The strings. The chords. To strumming and thrashing and singing my way to bliss…..

Oh, I’ll let you in on a little secret………. ready?? Sitting down like that and playing and singing and working my way through chord progressions to Hatch A Song??? It’s easy.

Let me attempt to clarify that…. it’s WORK, yes. An endeavor. An undertaking. But … it comes easy to me. There’s something hard-wired in me, maybe, I don’t know — I don’t understand it, but I go with it, that sense of euphoria and excitement and exhilaration that comes with creating. It’s the same with conjuring up characters from nothing, and making up scenarios and world-building and writing dialogue for them to speak to each other. It is work, yes — but it comes easy to me. 

There ya go — there’s your clue. Ya know…….. the whole circling the wagons on the WORD for 2017 thing. Isn’t that how this whole little three-part post began?? 

Before we bring this in for a landing, let’s return to that last visual. The little girl? Her hand placed against the bigger hand? What did you draw from that? What was your takeaway? In terms of “shrinking or expanding”, does it lead you to feel or think any particular way? 

small-hand-big-hand

Alright, let’s go to the well, folks. Let’s immerse in some classic Marianne Williamson…..

marianne-williamson-fave-quote

Classic, right?? This is the good stuff, people!

I mean — sure, yes, I admit — my life’s aim, what I consider my purpose — it’s not changed over the years. It always seems to spill out the same: 

“to entertain and inspire”

What’s that mean? How do I go about it?? Do I have more questions than answers when I consider this?? What do you think? Of course I do!

But here’s the scoop — when I read something like Marianne’s words?? I’m inspired. I’m incited to “not play small” and to “not shrink back”. I feel excited about possibility. I’m stoked about the mere opportunity to grow INTO my own purpose!!!

If all of this is a little too much about mojo and juju and sunshine and sacred space and cantankerous, audacious, tenacious, dream-infused, desire-fueled, soulful, awesome, Universe-adoring, bravery-summoning, fire-starting, present, willing, brilliance-seeking, yummy juicy fulfilling goodness for you??? No worries!! You may certainly toddle off into your own little patch of existence and grasp onto whatever form of inspiration revs your engines! I take absolutely no offense!! 

But!!! But…….. and, as a friend, I beg of you. No, wait — beg — that’s silly. Let’s see, I ask of you……. I hope for you……. I challenge you??? I wish, oh, how I wish you would…….. (Bonus points for any reader who can chime in with where that particular line came from!!)

However you want to say it… may you read Marianne Williamson again, may you invoke its wisdom, and may you draw from it whatever you can to help you on your own path.

Shrink? Expand? Shine? By the way — I personally find something positive in each of those words. Even shrink. Like… shrink excuses. Shrink your to-do list. Shrink doubt. Shrink worry. Shrink inhibition. See?? Do it YOUR way, friends! Suck the marrow out of this any way you can. 

To close, I suppose I best let you in on my word, huh? Do any of you think you have it figured out?? Have you picked your word?? Care to share??

I circled my wagons around several choices, but it all became exceptionally clear yesterday. I worked on my screenwriting yesterday, I played guitar and started some new songs yesterday, I sought new opportunities for “play”, I cooked a new-to-us recipe which was absolutely wonderful, I listened to this ridiculously inspiring podcast interview with writer-actress Greta Gerwig, while taking a brisk walk to meet up with my beautiful awaiting husband……… And, with all that in my back pocket, I picked an action word. One I can apply to oh, so many things. One I will count on to keep me on task. (Mantra: you can’t sell what you don’t write.) A word that isn’t just about aspiring, but doing. Doing the work. Plan the work, work the plan. Use the gifts bestowed upon me. Tap into my pure JOY.

Ready? 

Happy 2017, y’all…………

create

 

 

 

 

 

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One comment on “shrinking or expanding… the finale

  1. MermaidofthePlains
    January 11, 2017

    Love this simple choice of a word to inspire. Have thoroughly enjoyed your “posts to the big reveal.” My word? Positivity. Maybe we should meet for coffee and I’ll explain why. Better yet, I’ll write about it.
    Oh, “You’ve Got Mail.” One of the simplest and yet, one of my fave lines from the movie.

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